Letting go

February 17, 2008

“… but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.”
Philippians 3:13

This verse has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now and the realization that I am slowly letting go is dawning like a gentle sunrise. Baggage is a real bitch. And how can I possibly have baggage at the grand old age of 26? But I definitely came into the year with issues in my life that I need to sort out.

This is going to sound uncharacteristically fatalistic but there is a certain peace in coming to terms with the past:  Being okay with the paths you’ve walked;  Seeing in retrospect the purpose in them; Knowing that you made the best decisions you could have at the time; Realizing that you chose wisely;  Knowing that you gave it your all each time and God knows (and you couldn’t give a rat’s arse what everyone else thought anyway); Wishing the people who were jackasses to you well (I probably shouldn’t call them jackasses anymore);  Realizing that some people just didn’t have the same blessings of excellent friends and role models to show them what friendship actually means; Being happy and relaxed and not the horrible, crazy, bitter, angry person you had feared you’d become; Enjoying the journey and eagerly anticipating the destination.  Coming to terms with “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord” is extremely liberating.

And going to the gym has been fantastic. Pathetic, I know but it has been a very long time since I’ve regularly taken this much time out for myself. I lead a very bipolar life and a very extroverted one for a relatively introverted person and to be able to spend an hour or more a couple of times a week alone with my thoughts and my God has been just wonderful (the secret reason why I wanted to start running).

Life is definitely good.  And 2008 is looking to be a stand-up year.


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