Slow

It’s about a week late but today, the words of a whispered prayer is finally seeping in to my soul.

If you say so

4 When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”
5 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.”
Luke 5:4-5

If you say so, I will let down the net (yet again). But I’d like to state for the record that the lack of fish is getting lame. Where is the promise of a great number of fish that breaks the net?

I’m sorry

Someone interrupted me in a meeting at work earlier this week. Twice. It wasn’t a big deal and it didn’t particularly bother me because I got my point across in the end but I wasn’t impressed.

Anyway, the next day, he came by to apologise. I went from unimpressed to very very impressed. It takes a real man to apologise especially since the incident would have gone unnoticed within 24hours. Most people I know would have just let it blow over. I respect that and recognize his effort and humility.

I think of all the I’m sorry’s I should have said but never did and all the I’m sorry’s I’m still waiting to hear. I wish more people were like him. And while I’m wishing for stuff, I wish I was more like him too.

Devils and dust

“I got God on my side
And I’m just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love
Fear’s a powerful thing, baby
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It’ll take your God filled soul
And fill it with devils and dust”

I love you with the fire red, now its turning blue

This week, I’ve been thinking about how good communication is a real art.  It seems to be a combination of the content of the message, the context of the message and its timing.  It is sad that the content of a message can be missed or become obsolete without the right context or timing.  It is even sadder that relationships can be broken on the back of miscommunication.  A conversation that would have made all the difference 6 months ago is completely obsolete 6 months late.  It is kinda sad to listen to things that you were waiting to hear but then you got tired of waiting and now it was just too little too late.  It can be too late to apologise. 

Anyway, the point of the post is not to winge about that but as a mental note to myself that warm, fuzzy thoughts towards someone I care about is bullshit if it is not expressed.  Sincerity aside, there is an element of skill involved.  I notice that there are some people who are particularly good at expressing appreciation and affection.  They are specific about the things they appreciate.  They know the little physical gestures to accompany the words to get their point across.  Their voices soften.  Their words slow down.  They know how to say the right things at the right time.

I’ve also been thinking about the role of the Holy Spirit in all of this.  What makes one person able to tell from the tone of your voice than you need a friend and another walk blindly by?  What makes one person willing to take the risk to find out and another fearful of possible rejection?  I’d like to say God but maybe it is a complicated mix of sincerity, skill and Spirit.  Either way, after a conversation where I said, “I don’t care anymore” more times that I want to remember, I think I want to be the kind of person who cares too much, rather than not at all. 

The world I know

I love Collective Soul.  I love this song.  I love the acoustic guitar.  And today, David Cook’s rendition of it reflects almost perfectly the way I feel.  Enough said.

 

Funk soul brother

I am incredibly prone to earworms. You know, the kind of song that goes on and on inside your head and it won’t f*ing stop.

My earworm for the week is Fat Boy Slim’s “The Rockafella Skank”.  There are like 10 words in the whole song and the melody is on loop.  It is seriously the king of earworm songs.  I just wish someone could MAKE IT STOP!  Argh.

(Featured clip is of fantastic Irish comedian Dylan Moran.)

Morning runs

I was inexplicably up at 5+am a couple of mornings ago and since I was already up, I thought that I’d go see what all the fuss about running in the morning is about. I’m not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. 8am is an early day for me so being geared up and running before 7am was definitely a slightly out-of-body experience.

Anyway, I walked to the park (2km) and ran around for about 8+km. Actually ran is a bit of a misnomer. At the speed I was going, it was a jog at best. My muscles were all stiff and no amount of stretching seemed to help. And I was too mentally disengaged to enjoy the solitude of the run.

I don’t think I like running in the morning much.

Two choices

Tonight, I have 2 choices.  I can write a post about this large cynical cloud that floated above my head which is casting an ominous shadow over me.  Or I can write a post about how I am thankful that at least there are some people in this world who restore my faith in humanity and more importantly, in God’s people. 

Anyway, I’ve decided that the large ominous cynical cloud are not worth my energy thinking about today.  So I’m going to be a sap and say that I am (again) thankful for 2 very special people because I seriously needed reminding that the world hasn’t gone completely crazy.  It is soul-uplifting to be loved for who you are but seen for the person you can be. 

So to you and you (even though you both probably don’t read this), thank you for being living proof that our God is an awesome God.  I honestly can’t think of a higher compliment than that because my heart aches at how few people there are who still display what it means to be a God-fearing Christian in crazy world.  God is real to me because He is real in you.  I love you guys. 

Man, I’m going to cry.

Blue like jazz

A conversation today reminded about this quote from Donald Miller from his book “Blue like Jazz”:

“I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn’t resolve. . . . I used to not like God because God didn’t resolve. But that was before any of this happened.”

I always wish that God was a little bit more like a fairy godfather. *Ping* and magically everything is all rainbows and butterflies. But it seems to me that Miller is right. God is a lot like jazz. He doesn’t resolve and definitely not in the way that I want or in the time frame I want. But at the risk of sounding trite, I do like jazz and I do love God so I guess I’ll just have to live with it.